Living Life From the Inside Out - Men - Keys to God's Kingdom, May 15, 2008

Men – Keys to God’s Kingdom

Living Life Inside Out

Hillcrest Church, Dallas, Texas

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Text

" After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, 2 and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; 3 Joanna the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod’s household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means. 4 While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable:" (Luke 8:1-4 NIV)

"21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 5:21-6:4 NIV)

Review

Core concepts concerning the kingdom.

· God created the world “right-side up.”

· God designed humans to live “inside-out.”

· Sin turned the world “upside-down.”

· Sin causes people to live “outside-in.”

· Jesus came to turn the world “right-side up!”

· Jesus came to help us live “inside-out!”

This is the “Gospel of the Kingdom…!”

· The kingdom is spiritual (living “inside-out”)

· The kingdom is tangible and powerful.

· The kingdom is beneficial (reflects character of its king).

· The kingdom is accessible (“at hand” – KJV; “near” - NIV).

· The kingdom is valuable (worth prioritizing above all else).

Today, on this father’s day, i want to focus on the important role men, especially fathers, play in God’s kingdom.

What kind of fathers are kingdom men?

1. Men with submissive hearts who acknowledge the King’s lordship.

In God’s Kingdom, we can only have authority to the extent that we are under authority.

"6 So Jesus went with them. He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: “Lord, don’t trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. 7 That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. 8 For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”" (Luke 7:6-8 NIV)

Before speaking about God’s plan for order and structure in the home, Paul first speaks of “submitting one to another in the fear (reverence) of God…” The husband is only described as the “head” of his wife in the context of Christ’s lordship over his own life as a member of the church!

God’s plan for husbands and fathers has nothing to do with any kind of supposed innate superiority over women…!

The term, “…weaker vessel…,” is used in the context of Christ’s suffering under Roman authority in a godly way and Jesus was NOT weak or inferior to those who mistreated Him…!

" 13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, 14 or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. 16 Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. 17 Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king." (1 Peter 2:13-17 NIV)

" Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." (1 Peter 3:1-8 NIV)

God made men and women different, but He also made them equal in value in His sight….!

"28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise." (Galatians 3:28-29 NIV)

" 28 In Christ’s family there can be no division into Jew and non-Jew, slave and free, male and female. Among us you are all equal. That is, we are all in a common relationship with Jesus Christ. 29 Also, since you are Christ’s family, then you are Abraham’s famous “descendant,” heirs according to the covenant promises." (Galatians 3:28-29 The Message)

"12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." (Colossians 3:12-21 NIV)

A man’s role as “head” is to protect his wife from spiritual temptation so that she is not exposed to forces she is not designed to deal with. Cf: God’s command to Adam to “keep,” i.e., “protect,” the Garden of Eden and the fact that that the serpent was a beast of the “field” that Adam should have kept out of the Garden. Had Adam been doing his job, Eve would never have had to face the temptation brought to her by the serpent…! Furthermore, as what Paul calls the “first” Adam, imagine how the outcome of Eve’s sin would have been different had Adam fulfilled his high priestly/intercessory calling, entreating Eve to repent and God to forgive her when she did…!

2. Men with sensitive hearts who reflect the King’s character.

Authority flows down from the King and all His laws reflect His character.

"13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:13-17 NIV)

"7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." (Matthew 6:7-8 NIV)

Important to cultivate trust in our children.

Difference between discipline and punishment.

"4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4 NIV)

"6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)

Need for both justice and mercy.

"15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15 NIV)

Foolish – the belief that there are no consequences to my actions…!

“Way he should go” does not only refer to righteousness, but also to the discovery and development of God’s giftings within that child.

Important to know our children.

Jean-Marc “artist” of football game

“Hair” story – Paducah, etc.)

3. Men with courageous hearts who are committed to the King’s causes.

" 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " (Matthew 6:25-34 NIV)

invitation

1. Will you join me in asking God to forgive our sins and shortcomings as fathers?

2. If you are not part of God’s Kingdom, would you like to enter it today?

How to Be the Kind of Man A Woman Wants to Love, Hillcrest Church, June 17, 2007

How to Be The Kind of Man A Woman Wants to Love

Hillcrest Church, June 17, 2007

Text

"²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. ²² Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³ “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” ⁴ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 5:21-6:4, NIV)

Introduction

Why talk about women on Father’s Day?

Just in case you have forgotten basic biology, let me remind you that no man can be a father without the help of a woman….! And, one of the most important legacies you can leave your children is a loving, healthy relationship with their mother. In the final analysis, it is impossible to be a good father without being a good husband…!

Sometimes as men, when we read the passage that is our text for today, it may strike us as unfair. After all Paul requires a man to love and cherish his wife, but does not even bother saying that to the women. Why? Because nine times out of ten, if a man really loves his wife the way Paul talks about his wife will love him back…!

Women are responders by God-given design.

There can be exceptions to that rule, even as there are some people who willfully and consciously reject God’s love for them and the relationship He wants to have with them, but most people who choose to not walk with Christ have never really grasped how awesome God’s love for them really is…!

When Teresa heard about the video we are going to show at the men’s breakfast on, “How to Improve Your Sex Life…” she said…

“That’s easy…Just tell them, ‘Help clean up from dinner; Help do the dishes; Help the kids take their baths; Help them brush their teeth; and help them say their prayers. Then your wife will have the energy to do something besides just fall asleep. All the women’s magazines talk about how young mothers are so tired by the time they go to bed that sex is the last thing they have on their mind.’”

As I was preparing this message, I went back to her to get her approval to share those comments with you and she added the following great insights…

• A woman wants to know that her husband cares about her and not just about sex. “Men sometimes give love for sex; women sometimes give sex for love.”
• Brush your teeth and bathe often.
• Find out what your wife’s love language is and tell her you love her often in ways that are meaningful to her, not in ways that are meaningful to you!
• Work hard to have a good relationship with a woman’s family and close friends. No woman wants to have to choose between people she loves.
• Love her children, teach them to love their mother, and insist they respect her.
• Bill and Fran Holbrook’s first date, “Where are the kids? They are coming, too…!” (Darryl and Sherri Fletcher; Bob and Gay Thurman’s, “Divorce Recovery Workshop.”
• The Apostle Paul situates his instructions regarding a man’s responsibilities toward his children in the same context as his comments on a man’s responsibilities toward his wife…!
• Provide time alone for your wife, especially when you have small children.

So there you have it, fellows, straight from the heart and mind of a very, very special woman…!

Her thoughts are better than mine, but here are four things I suggest you write down as well:

1. Love her more than anything else.

Traditional marriage vows include the phrase, “Forsaking all others…” The word, “forsake,” is very strong. It implies a total, conscious renunciation of all soul ties, lingering thoughts of “What might have been…” or “What could have been…”

There is more than one way to commit adultery. It can be done sexually; it can be done emotionally; it can be done mentally; it can even be done vocationally.

· Hobbies

· Sports

· Buddies

· Work

· … and obviously, other women…!

In the words of Jesus, “For this cause, a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and they will become one flesh…” Both “leaving” and “cleaving” are also very strong words.

2. Put her needs ahead of your needs.

“Love seeketh not its own…” (1 Corinthians 13)

“Love keeps no record of wrongs…” (1 Corinthians 13)

Love puts its need for a new beginning ahead of its own selfish tendency to protect itself and justify itself by carefully recording and remembering every mistake has been made.

3. Look after her spiritual well-being.

· This can be as simple as making it easy for her to attend church in place she enjoys worshipping the Lord.

· Talk with her about your own thoughts and feelings about God. The old adage, “Never discuss money, politics, and religion” should never be applied to marriage…! If you are in spiritually, “blended” home, it is important to use tact, wisdom, and lots of mutual respect, but it is extremely important to know exactly where each other stand on this most important issue.

· Read the Bible together and pray together. Begin at mealtime and at before bedtime. I really struggle with this. Teresa and I talk about the Bible a lot, in part because I love to get her feedback on my sermons. (I stopped having her “grade” them a long time ago, though…! Smile!) We pray together over the most important things, but I need to make sure we also pray together over everyday things, if for no other reason than it is important for our children to see us doing it together…!

4. Live a life worthy of her respect.

Respect is the foundation upon which all true love is built. If your wife respects you, it is much easier to love you…!

Be the kind of man she can trust her children with and that her children will look up to. More than once over the years as I have heard wives say what drew them to their husbands these words have been spoken, “I could tell he would be a good father to my children.”

Conclusion

Becoming the kind of man I have talked about this morning is a journey I am on myself. I am far from a perfect husband or a perfect father, but my relationship with Jesus Christ is the key to anything I do right in my relationship with my wife and with my children. His love for the church sets the standard I try to live by in my relationship with my wife. My heavenly father’s love for me shows me how I am to love my children.

I can only do that with His help…! Here is the good news, if any of lack wisdom, if we ask God for it, He will generously pour it out upon us if we trust Him and respond to His promptings.

"⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. ⁶ But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸ he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." (James 1:5-8, NIV)

The starting point on the journey to that kind of wisdom to begin a personal relationship with God.

"¹⁰ “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." (Proverbs 9:10, NIV)

"³³ The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor." (Proverbs 15:33, NIV)

INvitation

1. Would you like to begin that kind of relationship with God today?

2. Would you like to ask God to help you be this kind of man…husband, father, friend?