The Kind of Woman A Good Man Wants to Love
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" 10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." (Proverbs 31:10-31, NIV)
Introduction
Last week I brought a Father’s Day sermon entitled, “How to Be the Kind of Man A Woman Wants to Love.” In four and one half years here at Hillcrest, I don’t think I have ever had such overwhelmingly positive response from people about a single sermon, especially from the women.
Today, I want to turn that topic around and talk about the kind of woman a good man wants to love. And so we turn in the Bible to the most famous of all texts describing womanhood, a psalm of praise written by the mother of King Lemuel for her son to help him know what kind of wife he should look for. She realized, I am sure, that because of his position, he would attract all kinds of women with all kinds of motives. And so she wrote these words to save him from the wrong kind of women and to help him find the right kind of woman, a wife fit for a king…!
Instead of going through this rather lengthy passage verse by verse, I want to share six suggestions with every woman here based on these and other Scriptures.
1. Be pure.
Set your standards very high and do not lower them at any time, in any place, or for anyone…!
" 10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." (Proverbs 31:10, NIV)
"30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." (Proverbs 31:30-31, NIV)
A godly wife is a godly influence upon her husband.
"12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." (1 Corinthians 7:12-15, NIV)
In God’s eyes, by the way, there is no such thing as a double standard…!
2. Be personable.
A man falls in love with your personality.
"13 A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. 14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." (Proverbs 19:13-14, NIV)
"15 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; 16 restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand." (Proverbs 27:15-16, NIV)
"9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 21:9, NIV)
"24 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 25:24, NIV)
The woman is the “Holy Spirit” of the home. More than anything else, she sets the atmosphere!
I have often been amazed on the kind of woman men run off with…! Often, the most outstanding trait they have is that they are good conversationalists – and an important part of that art is learning to be a good listener…!
Wives, are you so interested in making sure he hears what you have to say that you fail to really listen to what he has to say?
Teresa excels in this regard, and it has not been easy because I can be quite a talker, but she has learned that I process verbally, that is to say, I think out loud, and by engaging with me in conversation, even about things that do not matter much to her
I believe every man talks to someone or something, whether to his friends or into his glass of beer down at the bar. Is he talking to you? Do you make it easy for him to? Do you really want him to talk to you or do you just want him to listen to you? Obviously, both are important!
3. Be productive.
Proverbs 31 woman led a very active life, with some measure of independence over her money and her decisions, making a significant contribution to her home and to her city.
"13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." (Proverbs 31:13-27, NIV)
Engage in meaningful pursuits with your life. If you have children, pour yourself into them. Better yourself. If you like gardening, learn more about flowers, etc.
The best way not to be boring is to be growing. A woman who is growing is usually a woman who is glowing…!
Make a financial contribution to the welfare of your family, whether through thrift, investments, or generating income (centered around the home, able to do all this because of servants (vs.. 15)
Homemaker? Be creative and innovative..!
The Proverbs 31 woman had tremendous influence in her home but also in larger society…!
4. Be patient.
Your husband is not perfect yet…and neither are you…!
“It is better to be lonely than to wish you were…!”
5. Be passionate.
Be playful – a woman’s laughter adds much to a home…!
Read the Song of Solomon…!
6. Be prayerful.
Hell trembles when it hears a godly woman pray…!
Recommend “A woman’s guide to spiritual warfare…” by Ruthanne Garlock
Nothing builds a long-term partnership in a godly marriage like a man knowing his wife walks with God and hears from God…!
Charles Blair- ignored wife’s advice…! (Read, “The Man Who Could Do No Wrong,” which tells his story.)
Jamie Buckingham – hardest way to hear voice of Spirit is through wife’s voice…!
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