Following Jesus In Our Relationships IV - Luke 6:43-49
Text (Luke 6:43-49)
"43 "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44 Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. 45 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. 46 "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? 47 I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. 48 He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49 But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete." " (Luke 6:43-49, NIV)
Introduction
In the first three messages in this series, dealing with what it means to follow Jesus in our relationships, we learned five important principles:
· Godly relationships are providential, not accidental. (vs. 12-15)
· Godly relationships prioritize His purposes more than our comfort. (vs. 16-19)
· Godly relationships will always be at odds with an ungodly world. (vs. 20-26)
· Godly relationships require doing right, even in the face of wrong (vs. 27-38)
· Godly relationships are grounded in honesty, respect, and humility.
Honesty – Can a blind man lead a blind man? (vs. 39)
o We must be honest with ourselves and with others about whether or not we know where we are going. We must learn to tell the truth to ourselves before we can teach the truth to others.
o Honesty is part of transparency and transparency is necessary for intimacy.
o Honesty must be accompanied by a loving, redemptive motive.
RESPECT – Student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.
o Ask yourself the question, "Who is God giving me to that I might serve them and help them become everything God has destined them to be so they might maximize their contribution to His Kingdom?"
o In one sense, the greatest need both husband and wife have from marriage is honor.
· HUMILITY – plank in own eye should be of greater concern than speck of sawdust in brother's eye
o We must deal with our own issues in order to be able to effectively, graciously, and redemptively deal with the issues of others.
o Humility – acknowledging our own need of God and our need of others. In marriage, respect is the foundation for all true love and humility is the foundation for all true respect.
1. Godly relationships are the fruit of godly hearts and godly lives. (vs. 43-44)
The real issues in relationships are not external, but internal…!
Problems in relationships result from problems in the heart (inner being) of the people in those relationships.
When the heart is right, it is easy for the relationships to be right…!
It is impossible for a bad tree to bear good fruit…!
Following Jesus to the cross and to the upper room is the most important thing we can do to have healthy relationships…!
Cross – delivers us from selfishness; Upper Room gives us supernatural power to live like Jesus, to forgive like Jesus, and to relate to people the way Jesus did…!
Ultimately, all sin is selfishness and all relational problems can be traced back to someone's selfishness…!
cf. Jesus – Two Greatest Commandments
" 34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37 Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."" (Matthew 22:34-40, NIV)
Selfishness causes relational problems…!
"10 Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." (Proverbs 13:10, NIV)
"10 ONLY by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." (Proverbs 13:10, KJV)
Ø Do not intentionally go into deep, intimate relationships with ungodly people, for ungodly lives will result in ungodly actions in relationships…!
" 14 Do not be yoked[1] together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the
You can tell a lot about a person's true character and spirituality and spiritual maturity by looking at the state of their closest relationships…!
The way we treat those closest to us reveals more about who we really are than the way we treat casual acquaintances…!
· When seeking to determine a person's character, do not be misled by the presence of giftings…! Look at relationships…!
This is especially true of preachers and spiritual leaders…!
" Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil." (1 Timothy 3:1-6, NIV)
" 5 The reason I left you in
One of the most sobering things for me to consider is how clear it is that the way I treat my wife is the way I treat the church, and vice-versa…!
"32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:32, NIV)
The question here is not whether a leader or their relationships or their family members are perfect (free from all "issues," but whether they are godly (how do they respond to their "issues")
Ø Do you need God's help today to live in godly relationship with those closest to you? (Husbands and wives join hands and pray together, and by joining hands, signify to the other that you are willing to try again…!)
Ø Do you need God's help in discerning the character of spiritual leaders or other important people around you?
2. Godly relationships are nourished by godly tongues. (vs. 45)
The mouth will always speak out of the overflow of the heart…!
Jesus understood "Freudian slips" before Sigmund ever thought about the term…!
Godly hearts are manifested in godly tongues. Ungodly tongues destroy relationships; Godly tongues nourish and build relationships.
"2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. 3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." (James 3:2-12, NIV)
"16 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 19 a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers." (Proverbs 6:16-19, NIV)
"17 I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18 For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people." (Romans 16:17-18, NIV)
- I am amazed, by the way, at how many people fall for false prophets and false prophecies simply because they are flattering in nature…!
- 1 Kings 22 tells the end of Ahab, how he had four hundred false prophets around him who told him what he wanted to hear. There was only one true prophet, Micaiah, who told him what he needed to hear…!
Sometimes who have the greatest verbal skills have the greatest trouble controlling their tongues.
"19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." (Proverbs 10:19, NIV)
"2 Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. 3 As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words." (Ecclesiastes 5:2-3, NIV)
"7 Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God." (Ecclesiastes 5:7, NIV)
"19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much." (Proverbs 20:19, NIV)
Some things that are true are better left unsaid, cf. Isaiah's recognition of "unclean lips"…!
" In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory." 4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. 5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty." 6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for." 8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" 9 He said, "Go and tell this people…'" (Isaiah 6:1-9, NIV)
One particularly insidious way we sin with our tongues is through what the Scripture calls, "scorn" or "mockery."
Scorn is a form of disrespect and dishonor, particularly as it is expressed through words. Scripture has much to say about this kind of speech.
"10 Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended." (Proverbs 22:10, NIV) (KJV – "scorner")[2]
One of the most infamous examples of scorn in the Scripture is that of Shimei, who cursed David, pelting him with stones and throwing dirt on him as he fled Jerusalem before his rebellious son, Absalom (2 Samuel 16:5-17). Abishai wanted to cut his head off, but David forbade him from doing it. Later, when David was restored to the throne, Abishai came to him before anyone else, begging his forgiveness, and David allowed him to live. (2 Samuel 19:16-23). Before he died, though, David told his son Solomon to keep his eye on Shimei (1 Kings 2:8-10). Why? I think it was because David knew that it is very difficult for someone like Shimei to change their attitude toward an authority toward which they have developed an attitude of scorn…! Solomon told Shimei to build a house in Jerusalem
Another common way we sin with our tongues is through gossip and slander…
"20 Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. 21 As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. 22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts. 23 Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart." (Proverbs 26:20-23, NIV)
"22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts." (Proverbs 26:22, NIV)
Listening to a gossip (someone who tells you someone else's secrets) is about as foolish as dating a girl behind another guy's back. After all, if she betrayed him to go out with you, she will betray you to go out with someone else…!
Paul lists gossip right up there with other, shocking sins, even listing it a sign of a reprobate mind…!
"28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. " (Romans 1:28-32, NIV)
How should we respond when slandered?
Be sure that it is slander and not simply criticism…! (1 Peter – be sure that you are suffering for righteousness's sake and not as an evil-doer…!)
Jesus was reviled, but reviled not again…! (Did not return slander for slander…!)
When we defend ourselves, God cannot defend us. If we commit ourselves and our reputations to Him, He will defend us ("every tongue that will rise against us in judgment we will condemn…", etc.)
The point is not our reputation when we are slandered, but the impact those things have on other, innocent people (It is not about the man, it is about the plan…!)
We should not only ask, "What would Jesus do?" but, also, "What would Jesus say?"
"21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 22 "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." 23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. " (1 Peter 2:21-25, NIV)
3. Godly relationships will stand the test of time and survive the trials of life. (vs. 46-49)
· Storms will come into every relationship…!
· Godly relationships benefit from God's grace and help…!
Invitation
1. Do you need God to cleanse your tongue and fill it with words that will nourish your relationships?
2. Do you need to begin a relationship with God?
[1] zygṓs [yoke, scales], heterozygéō [to be unevenly yoked] zygṓs. A. zygṓs. in the LXX. 1. The normal LXX use is for "scales" or "yoke." For scales in the secular sense cf. Ezek. 5:1 (division), Is. 46:6, and Jer. 32:10 (weighing). God weighs the universe in Is. 40:12, and demands just weights in Lev. 19:35; Ezek. 45:10; Hos. 12:7; Am. 8:5; Prov. 11:1; 16:11. Scales symbolize justice when given to Dan (cf. Gen. 49:16). For a moral use cf. Sir. 21:25; 28:25 (the measuring of words). 2. A significant figurative use is found for destiny and human worth. Job's sufferings weigh more than the sand (i.e., they cannot be measured) (6:2). We ourselves are to be weighed (Job 31:6; cf. Mic. 6:11). We count for nothing in God's sight (Ps. 62:9,; cf. Is. 40:15). Belshazzar's kingdom, when weighed, is found wanting. Though the LXX translates this differently, the idea of weighing in judgment occurs in many apocryphal and apocalyptic texts. 3. The image of the "yoke" is also common in the LXX. It denotes political tyranny in 2 Chr. 10:4ff. (cf. Gen. 27:40) and alien rule in Is. 19:10; 14:29; 47:6; Dan. 8:25. Deliverance is the taking away of the yoke in Is. 9:3 and its breaking by God in Lev. 26:13 (cf. the false prophecy in Jer. 28:2, 4, 11). In the moral sphere, slaves must be under the yoke (Sir. 30:35), one must avoid the yoke of the tongue (28:19), but it is good to accept the yoke of wisdom (51:26). Sinners do not want to bear God's yoke (Jer. 2:20) but finally the nations will bear it gladly (Zeph. 3:9). The suffering of the righteous is construed as God's yoke (cf. Mt. 11:29-30). [G. Bertram, II, 896-98] B. zygós in the NT. 1. In Rev. 6:5 the third horseman (on the black horse) has "scales" in his hand. He symbolizes scarcity as a sign of impending judgment (cf. Lev. 26:26). 2. Elsewhere in the NT zygós means "yoke," but is used only figuratively in the general sense of absolute dependence. a. In 1 Tim. 6:1 the word expresses the situation of slaves; where the masters are Christians, the legal situation is the same but the personal relation is determined by their love as brethren, which adds a new dimension to service. b. The yoke of slavery has figurative significance in Gal. 5:1: Having escaped bondage to the elemental spirits (4:8ff.), believers should not submit to the yoke of the law but enjoy the freedom of sonship that Christ has conferred. The use in Acts 15:10 is similar: Gentile Christians are not to be put under the yoke of the law. c. In Mt. 11:29-30 Jesus invites those who labor and are heavy laden to take his easy yoke upon them. The apparent paradox (how can a yoke be easy?) vanishes when one considers that this is the yoke of the Messiah who offers free access to God to all who accept his call. Parallel rabbinic sayings refer to the putting off of the yoke of government by acceptance of the yoke of the law, or of coming under the yoke of earthly rule by breaking the yoke of heaven, but with the distinction that human achievement is here presupposed (though the divine yoke is regarded as a privilege rather than a burden), and that the yoke of Christ does not stand in such absolute antithesis to that of earthly government (cf. Mt. 22:15ff.). d. The apostolic fathers adopt the metaphor of the yoke, e.g., in Did. 6.2 (more legalistically) and Barn. 2.6 (characterizing the new law of Christ as gift rather than obligation). heterozygéō. This word derives from heterózygos, "unequally yoked" (e.g., the yoking of an ass and ox). It occurs for the first time in 2 Cor. 6:14, where Paul uses it to describe the abnormal situation that results when Christians fail to maintain their distinction from unbelievers. [K. H. Rengstorf, II, 898-901]
[3]Robert B. Hughes, J. Carl Laney and Robert B. Hughes, Tyndale Concise Bible Commentary, Rev. Ed. of: New Bible Companion. 1990.; Includes Index., The Tyndale reference library (
[4]Warren W. Wiersbe, Wiersbe's Expository Outlines on the New Testament (Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books, 1997, c1992), 161.
[5]Warren W. Wiersbe, Wiersbe's Expository Outlines on the New Testament (Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books, 1997, c1992), 161.
[6]Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary, "An Exposition of the New Testament Comprising the Entire 'BE' Series"--Jkt. (Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books, 1996, c1989), Lk 6:20.
[7]John F. Walvoord, Roy B. Zuck and Dallas Theological Seminary, The Bible Knowledge Commentary : An Exposition of the Scriptures (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1983-c1985), 2:220.
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